MY JOURNEY

1. My Journey, in Short
2. A Bit More
You are here: 3. An Ever Fuller Story
4. Ever So Much More Coming to Mind

There is also a short video on my father and myself. So many connections between us, and also huge differences in our life paths.

3. My Journey - An Ever Fuller Story

FROM STUCK TO LIVING FULLY,
FROM LONGING TO FLOURISHING

THE STARTING POINT: STUCK
Longing, Aching, Unutterably Lonely, Dreaming, Trying, STUCK

Childhood

Dreaming, longing, aching from the desire to be in the life I'm longing for, with adventure, excitement, friendship, fun, and danger I solve with best friends - like in the Trixie Belden mysteries I love.

But I'm stuck, no idea what I could do.

I think of Hayley Mills, star of a movie I loved. She was discovered by friends of her parents when they dropped by to visit. How could my sister and I be discovered?

It was summer. We were staying way out in the country with an older couple. Maybe a dozen cars passed in a day. I remember sitting with my sister on the front lawn, on a blanket, wondering if any of the people passing could possibly be searching for a star for their new movie. They would see my sister and myself . . .

I knew it wasn't likely.

But maybe there was a chance . . .

I told no one about my dream.

And we were not discovered.

I Grow Up

I grow up. More dreaming, longing, aching from the desire to be in a much larger life than I'm in. I have a good relationship - a really special guy. I'm numb inside. I have what is considered a good job - flight attendant staying in top hotels - like the Hilton close to the Eiffel Tower. I'm longing for something very different. My art and my writings touching people. Also, helping with the suffering in the world. I feel as stuck, trapped, as when I was a child. No idea what to do.

I have a theatre degree. I am not incredibly talented. I freeze.

I take courses. Art courses. Film courses.

My sense. I'm on a road to nowhere.

Such a sense of isolation, aloneness. Quiet desperation. I keep doing. But deep-down, close to despair.

I long for a miracle. A miracle falling in love. A miracle job. Something that solves everything.

I talk about the courses I'm taking, and feeling bored with my job. I don't talk, or anyway I don't remember talking, about the sense of being on a road to nowhere.

I easily get angry at little things, know it doesn't make sense. I want to stop that, but it keeps happening.

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I remember so well the pain of being stuck in a relationship I knew, so utterly within me, was not the right relationship for me. I wanted out, but had nothing that qualified, for me, as a “reason”. No abuse, no cheating. Just . . . I didn't quite know. Maybe boredom.

Work: flight attendant. Lots of time off. And such an urgent desire to be a writer, artist, actor. Also so many efforts, courses. Trying and trying and trying. I remember, I believe it was a film script, So Sorry, Charlie. Very light. I remember a novel, George Papadopoulis is Dead. The first pages felt very alive. After that, it didn't.

The pain of not being in the right life, of having “everything” - and nothing that I longed for. Nothing that felt meaningful to me. As a flight attendant, I stayed at the Hilton in Paris, the Radisson in Los Angeles and Zurich. Very nice, but so what.

I did not know what to do to move to a life that felt right to me.

I remember a nightmare I had, over and over. I was floating in the ocean, wanted to move. I could not. Not even a finger. I woke up. Terror and despair.

I know how I ended the nightmares. I read of a technique: tell yourself a better ending and that will happen. I had no idea how to change things. So I just told myself, before falling asleep, that my dreaming self was to find a solution.

Once again, I was floating on the ocean and could not move. Terror and despair. And then a small wave under one hand moved the hand. And suddenly the hand could move, and then the arm, the other arm, and all of me. I woke up.

The nightmare never came back.

But I had not solved what the dream was about.

I think back to myself in my 20''s. I did not acknowledge, even to myself, how horribly stuck I felt - that part of me that was buried inside my everyday life where everything looked good. But I did not feel love. Somehow that feeling had been closed off. I did not talk about this, not with anyone.

I had no idea how to get unstuck.

I wanted to be in love, to love. I didn't have that.

I wanted to write a brilliant novel, like those that touched me deeply. I knew what I wrote was nothing like that. I could not even keep a journal. I'd write a page, and put the journal aside, come back to it in a year, write another page.

Work? I was stuck. Flight attendant. I had no idea how else to earn money.

My very nice partner, who had a much better idea about possibilities, pushed me to go from taking courses, to going for an MA. I had no idea this would lead to one enormous breakthrough change.

I don't remember acknowledging my sense of being desperately stuck to anyone, except in tiny bits, to myself.

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MY TURNING POINT: A TINY STEP
with a huge impact, over time

Nothing dramatic happens. I get into an MA program. The courses grip me less than the film classes I was taking. But my partner has a map of the way the world works, which I don't He knows the MA can lead to something, and the courses don't

But that isn't the small step that happens.

I have no idea where I heard that, as a student, I'm entitled to 18 free counseling sessions. I didn't go because I felt stuck. I easily got angry at little things. I wanted very much to change that. I decided: I'll take a couple of sessions to get rid of the unwanted anger. That should be enough.

I didn't take just 2 sessions, but the full 18.

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THE DECISION MOMENT

At the end of those sessions, I had a dream. I was coming out of a changing room at one side of a huge gym. My therapist - overweight - was running laps without running out of breath or sweating. My thought: she is much better at this than I am.

My decision: I want much more of the changes that have been starting, more of the talking in a fuller way than is normal for me and being listened to. I want what she has, able to run without effort. I want to get what she has.

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DECADES OF EXPLORATION AND DISCOVERY

I remember deciding: I want more of this. I have no idea about the whole huge field of personal development, the many different varieties and approaches. But I know this feels like the right direction. A totally unexpected direction.

Not a breakthrough into a job where I am trying to do something about, say, world hunger or the oppression of women. Not a breakthrough with my art or my writing or filmmaking. Not, finally, getting an ongoing audience.

Childhood: I wanted excitement and adventure and the chance to make a difference. I discovered a world unknown to me, the world of personal development - the many different worlds. What an adventure - both personal and it also ended up giving me, increasingly, a chance to help others in an entirely unexpected way.

I think back to myself, all those decades ago. I had no idea of the amount of inner blocks within myself, and of how hard it would be to undo some of them.

So much I was unaware of - like that I was dragging generations of blocks. I came to very much recognize the pull from past generations.

I had absolutely no idea I was embarking on decades - four so far - of personal development, a journey that has included my creating my own model of personal development, because nothing I came across felt complete. I did not only explore - and use - the approaches I came across. I evaluated strengths and lacks.

Someone is famous for being the first person to summit Mount Everest. I have no idea why anyone would want to do that.

But I am doing my own summiting - not coming to something finished, like Mount Everest - but imagining, constructing, creating what has come to be my own model of personal development: Full Flourishing, which was also developed to help others on their journey.

Aladdin found a cave of jewels. For me, this exploration with its many discoveries is better than coming into a cave filled with shiny objects.

My sense: we need to find, come to and develop our personal “Mount Everests” - and Full Flourishing is my route to it, to help others on their journey,

The rest of my life has continued.

A topic gripped me. Then a second. Both became the focus of doctoral research.

I did part-time university and college teaching, then got tenured college teaching. Very satisfying.

I have had 3 long-term relationships, none of which felt really right to me. How much is the other person? How much is myself? I did not bring this up.

The personal exploration continued. Therapy. Gestalt. Psychoanalysis. Adult children of alcoholics. Tapping (tapping on acupressure points). New Age approaches.

Everything gives to me. Nothing feels enough. Over and over, I come up against limitations in the approach - especially a lack of attention to PERCEIVING, to THINKING, and to taking part in the world.

I come to DIY - Do It Yourself.

Full Flourishing - my own model of personal development.

Very simple. ACE. Awareness and caring. And then, engagement. If you're aware that you're stuck, and you care. If it hurts. If you ache, long to be in another life but have no idea how to get there. And if you're ready to engage - to take steps, with support, to set out in that direction.

There is no set formula, except to commit to engaging - taking some small step.

Movement, which leads to further movement.

All the same, a good part of the impetus to keep going is that, I could feel major blocks within me. Terror of paperwork, for instance. Sometimes not taking care enough of myself - over-trusting.

Very recently - just months ago - I came across yet another approach, Cognomovement. Reaching stuck point, trauma points, and undoing them through accessing the subconscious, especially with eye movements. The explanation is too simple. The changes can be profound.

I read testimonials from people who had tried many approaches, who sometimes were professionals with other approaches. Many things still did not feel right within. Cognomovement gave them an inner freedom they had never had. They felt they now were their true selves.

I am gaining from Cognomovement as well - which is another tool in the Full Flourishing toolkit.

Is this the final tool? I have no idea. It'd's where I am now in my own journey.

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EVER MORE FLOURISHING

I was a flight attendant taking classes. Always so much felt missing, was missing. I became a prof, writer, thinker, coach.

I have a much larger reach - from the few people I talked with and the limited things I talked about - to my students, discussing so many interesting subjects from ethics to world views, to a online audience reaching thousands with ideas, explorations, and also stories and poetry.fI have a much larger reach - from those I talked with, to students, to a considerable online audience.

Most, I have such a sense of flow in my life, being able to take action. A fullness to life. Adventure. Connected to others who are also doing what they can to make this world the garden that I have the strong sense it is mean to be - each of us in such different ways.

There are no more years of being stuck at some point or another. I respond quickly.

I've let go of so many blocks and have accumulated quite a toolbox.

Ever more satisfaction.

Ever more ease in my creativity.

The melting of deep-seated terrors.

Flow, as in how I dance, and how I create.

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I did not see myself as afraid, decades ago. I was always ready to speak up, to defend my ideas.

I came to recognize the terrors I didn't know were there.

How to express what it feels like, to be able to call the government without massive terror?

It used to be that I could not dance. I felt frozen, my legs not connected to the top half of my body. I love to dance now.

I remember reading a book on shame. I could not put it down. I came to recognize I lived in an ocean of shame - ashamed of not having friends, of any imperfection, of my background - and I felt ashamed of being ashamed.

I wish I could report: Heaven on Earth!!! I cannot. Griefs, doubts, hesitations.

I still come to dark nights of the soul. But I do not stay in them for years.

Also ever more reaching and flourishing.

Imagine being on a high plateau. It isn't heaven. But it is breathtakingly beautiful.

There are many parts to my life, much flow, and always trying for some balance.

Idea writing.

Creative projects.

Perhaps most, continuing to go ahead, so many possibilities.

If the idea writings or creative projects might appeal to you, you can try them out, subscribe to: the Truth Summit.

If Full Flourishing draws you, if you're frustrated, stuck, stymied, if you're longing for fuller freer living, I have an invitation for you: schedule a free 15-minute Discovery Call.

When I think back to my long ago self, I shake my head in wonder. I cannot believe the distance I've traveled.

I am so grateful to my much younger self who took the first step. She had no idea all she would find. She wanted to get unstuck. She got that and ever so much more, including the key to her own deep creativity.

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FOR MORE:
1. My Journey, in Short
2. A Bit More
You are here: An Ever Fuller Story
4. Ever So Much More Coming to Mind

There is also a short video on my father and myself. So many connections between us, and also huge differences in our life paths..
___________________
___________________

Testimonials

Chris Zahn

BChris Zahn Before I met Elsa, I had wanted to be a writer for years, but I didn't write. With Elsa, with her baby step formula, I started writing.

I also felt disconnected, didn't know anyone else like me, who was questioning things. I was anxious from all the hysteria. I was worried about the future. There was crazy talk about the “New Normal."

I was referred to Elsa and Full Flourishing right then, when I was seeking a like-minded group. I found what I was seeking. A group of thinkers who weren't willing to accept the propaganda we were being spoon fed.

What I found was a group of like-minded people. And I'm connecting with way more like-minded people outside the group.

It has been transformative to work with Elsa and the group. The world had gone insane. Elsa and the group were a breath of sanity.

We learned a lot from each other. I learned much more quickly than I would have on my own.

Elsa and the group are very caring. This encourages engagement. I'm encouraged to engage within my sphere of influence about everything.

I recommend Full Flourishing and Elsa's ACE method (Awareness, Caring, Engagement) for everyone.

Chris Zahn, friendly guy who can't help being logical

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Maria Nardi
Maria-Nardi

Dr. Schieder's “Getting There From Here” was a wonderful experience for me. Many times, people don't take initiatives simply because they don't know what to do or how to start.

Dr. Schieder has a way of helping people not only define what it is that is holding them back, but she provided a framework for activation and execution of goals.

Our group meetings were engaging and fun.

It gave me the motivation and support I needed to formulate a plan.

Once I began the process, the stress of feeling static left me and instead I was energized and renewed with a deep sense of purpose.

I highly recommend her program for anyone wishing to take their goals from thoughts to concrete action.

Maria Nardi, software developer

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Mary Andrew

Mary Andrew

When I came upon Elsa's work, I had been galvanised to protest by the horrific slaughter of children in the Manchester bombing.

But I felt isolated, downcast and daunted by the mountainous size of the problems.

I have always been utterly anti-racist, but because it involved terrorism, my friends thought I had become a bigot.

I didn't know what to do.

Elsa's amazing, inspirational work has become a beacon of light to me, and her friendship has furnished me with the encouragement and support (and occasional rap over the knuckles!) which I desperately needed to become tougher, more confident, and much more active.

I no longer feel alone; united we stand!

Thank you, Elsa, so much for all you have done to embolden me, and nurture my development. I am truly grateful!

Mary Andrew, working for a voice in mainstream politics

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Jane Bayler

Jane Bayler

Elsa is a strong and wise leader who has inspired me massively with her commitment to humanity and her powerful leadership.

She is super smart and at the same time very compassionate and caring.

She is utterly dedicated to the advancement of justice and human rights, and ending unnecessary suffering in the world.

Elsa will truly help you to flourish and achieve your full potential both as an individual and in the context of your wider role in society.

I encourage you to engage with Elsa who will help you to flourish fully as a human being and reach your highest potential in terms of the impact you make in the world.

Jane Bayler, entrepreneur, proud cancer survivor, marketer and trainer who helps thought leaders and experts generate impact and authority through their online presence and communications.

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Nicole Davidoff

Nicole Davidoff

Elsa is a spiritual healer and a brilliant writer and thinker.

And her music videos are a reminder that there is a beauty in this world too!

She is also for me a pillar of strength and a voice of reason.

Nicole Davidoff, passionate advocate of human rights and freedoms, passionately against any ideology that is totalitarian, cat lover

The Full Flourishing Formula

MY JOURNEY

3. My Journey - An Ever Fuller Story FROM STUCK TO LIVING FULLY, FROM LONGING TO FLOURISHING

3. My Journey - An Ever Fuller Story

FROM STUCK TO LIVING FULLY,
FROM LONGING TO FLOURISHING